It's now almost a year since I returned to Ireland for the first prolonged period time of time since 1999. One year on and sometimes, I am perhaps as confused as ever.
Professionally, this has been the best 12 months of my life. I now work for one of the top law firms in N.Ireland and whilst I am still a ways from being properly qualified as a full lawyer, 75% of my days are spent doing what a real lawyer does. I now know for sure that I want to spend the next period of my life working in the law in some shape or form and if it hadn't been for my work here I maybe wouldn't know that.
Personally though, I sometimes wonder if I am any further on. Ireland is a different place to what left in 1999 and yet at the same time it is still the same. I guess what I mean is that there are some weeks that I think this is the greatest place in the world but others when I want nothing more than to leave it forever.
I guess in the same way as when I am abroad I miss my family, I really do miss my friends from England or more particularly Canada. A great Belfast writer C S Lewis talks about the problem that exists in life in that the stronger the relationship between people, the more it hurts whenever you aren't with that person.
Essentially what he is saying that is that every single relationship we have in life ends at some point and the thing is that the more we have put into those relationships, the more we end up missing that relationship. The key is to accept this as part of life and really enjoy our day to day relationships.
Maybe, that is my problem. I have to admit that I find it hard to get past previous friendships and really embrace new ones. But I would at least like to think that I am trying even if I do find it hard.
Anyways, I will at least see some of my Canadian friends in a few weeks time whenever I return. Oh, and it even looks like I might have gotten myself some Packers tickets after all. Things are looking up after all.
